Not Another Gossip Girl Parody
by xxWritingGirlxx
Summary: This is a Gossip Girl parody! It's of random scenes in the TV show, so spoilers for Season 1 and Season 2! : Rated T... because I'm paranoid. : It's funny... I hope!


**A/N: I love Gossip Girl… but it's too easy to make fun of. :) Also, reviews are all appreciated, even if they're flames! Bring it on! These are parodies of random scenes in Gossip Girl… actually, some of them aren't even scenes, I made some of them up. :) Well, here you go; I hope you find it funny!**

Serena: I'M BAAAAACK!

Blair: Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.

Chuck: I'd like to go back into your hole, if you know what I mean. *wink*

Nate: SERENA'S BACK? Who cares about sex with Blair, LET'S GO SAY HI!

Blair: Are you sure you're not gay?

Nate: Well, I don't know, I do spend a lot of random nights at Chuck's… waking up and not remembering what happened the night before…

Chuck: *whistles innocently* What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass.

Serena: I know for a fact Nate's not gay.

*awkward silence*

Blair: Dafuk?

Nate: I'll tell you now…

Blair: NO! AFTER WE HAVE SEX!

Nate: Yeah… it can't wait.

Blair: Yeah… are you positively sure you're not gay?

* * *

Serena: Blair, let's be friends again! I know I left without saying goodbye, stole all your boyfriends and spotlight, and had sex with N- anyway, let's just… pretend that never happened!

Blair: Yeah, too bad, I know all about what you did with Nate. Imma storm out now.

Serena: Shit, but Blair, I have such a good soul and heart now!

Blair: It's ok, I'll probably forgive you later in this episode.

* * *

Dan: Stupid brunch. Screw the Upper East Side. Sure, I've been stalking Serena for a couple years now, but… I never knew she was so terrible!

Serena: I'll always be a part of the Upper East Side!

Dan: And I'm from BROOKLYN, so I'll never fit in with you!

Vanessa: YEAH! WHO CARES!

Serena: You have hair, clearly you do.

Dan: Like I said, Upper East Side sucks. I'LL NEVER FIT IN. Even though I go to the same school, wear expensive jackets and dated Serena.

Rufus: You said it, son! It sucks unless it's the Van Der Woodsen's, if you know what I mean! *wink*

Dan: Right now, I hate Serena!

Serena: Don't worry; we'll probably be together again. Sorry, Vanessa!

Vanessa: It's all good; I've got my Man-Bangs over here!

Nate: Nah, Serena's wearing something shiny… I LOVE HER!

Vanessa: Dafuk?

Serena: Dear god.

Nate and Dan: IT'S ON!

Nate: Never mind, I LOVE JENNY, SHE'S BLONDER!

Vanessa: Dafuk? REVENGE!

Dan: NOT MY SISTER!

Nate: WAIT, BLAIR IS… rich!

Vanessa: Dafuk?

Nate: Wait, Vanessa! You're more ethnic!

Vanessa: Dafuk? Actually, works for me!

Dan: YAY, I get Serena all to myself!

Serena: I thought you hated me…

Dan: That was before I found out someone else liked you.

Serena: Makes sense.

* * *

Aaron: Remember me? I'm Cyrus Rose's son, Blair's stepbrother?

Cyrus Rose: I have a son?

* * *

Jenny: I'm super cool!

Eric: You are!

Blair: …right. SKANK!

Jenny: Oh, I see, you have a little crush on me. How adorable… NOT INTERESTED, BITCH.

Eric: I told you I was gay…

Jenny: Actually, I was talking to Blair.

* * *

Gossip Girl: I'm going to pop in at the just the right moment to ruin all the Upper East Sider's lives. I almost feel like –A… nah, I'm imagining things. XOXO, Gossip Girl. P.S. Here's a tip- if you want to keep your romances secret, don't kiss right in front of everyone.

* * *

Mrs. Carr: *totes flirting with Dan* I'm totes innocent.

Dan: *totes flirting with Mrs. Carr* I know, I would never do it with a teacher!

Dan: *mumbles* Unless it was you…

Serena and Mrs. Carr: What?

Dan: Nothing.

* * *

Nate: Serena! I love you!

Serena: I'm dating Aaron! Wait, no, I'm dating Gabriel… wait, no, I'm dating Dan… wait no, I'm dating… I FORGET!

Nate: *looks hopeful* Maybe… I'm dating you?

Serena: LET'S GO WITH THAT! *makes out with him*

* * *

Serena: I killed someone!

Serena's mom: At least you didn't make a sex tape!

Blair's mom: UNATTENTIVE PARENTING, WHOOT! *high fives*

* * *

Chuck: I…

Blair: Go on…

Chuck: Love…

Blair: Keep going, you're almost there…

Chuck: Y- SEX!

Blair: That's the 10th time you've done that! I HATE YOU, I'LL NEVER LOVE YOU AGAIN!

Chuck: *sadface*

Blair: …well, you know, for three episodes or so.

* * *

Blair: Do my dirty work for me, Dorota!

Chuck: I'd like to do some dirty work on you, if you know what I mean. *wink*

Dorota: I don't think so!

Blair: *demon eyes* DO IT OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY! MY KNIFE WILL CUT YOU SO FAST, YOU WON'T EVEN SEE IT COMING!

Chuck: I wouldn't mind seeing you coming, if you know what I mean. *wink*

Dorota: MISS BLAIR, I'LL DO WHATEVER IT IS! AND ANYTHING ELSE!

Blair: *normal* I love your headband, Dorota!

* * *

Rufus and Vanessa: *have weird sexual tension*

Dan: *walks in* …is this a bad time?

Vanessa: …

Rufus: …

Dan: Well this is awkward.

THE END. (for now!)


End file.
